Recently during a meeting, a wise mentor told me, “It’s okay to fail. You cannot be right all the time, you, have to learn to fail with grace.” I was stunned into silence. I have thought and mulled over this. He is wise, and I respect him, so he must be right. Right?
I spoke to a dear friend who, while new in my life, I respect. I admire people who challenge and push me to think openly. She told me the exact opposite: that the way we are a bred is that failing is not an option.
It’s the truth. I didn’t know how to fail. I don’t know to accept defeat because I haven’t afforded myself that luxury.
- I didn’t get to fail during a 10 month deployment.
- I didn’t get to fail when we had 3 days notice before we needed the movers to show up and move us to another duty station.
- I can’t fail on my properties. Foreclosures and bankruptcies are not okay.
- I don’t get to fail when we move to new duty stations.
- I don’t get to fail at finding a job.
- I get to ask for help.
- I get to rely on others.
- I get to stumble and have a down day.
- I get to show up at my best friend’s house losing my mind and have her tell me I am losing it.
- I get to cry in my boss’s office.
- I get to ask for help from a forum.
I get to do anything I want, but accept failure or defeat and you can too. The truth is you are strong and you will make it! The hardest lesson I have learned is that not getting to my goal was not failure. It was actually a greater success than if I had never stuck with such a lofty goal. Perseverance, not just straight up success, has been my key.
DO NOT GIVE UP, DO NOT FAIL!
You are allowed to reevaluate, think twice, or pick a different path. What you are not allowed to do is give up or say you are done. The only time I have given up out of frustration are the days I have regretted. While I have changed paths, tried something new or reevaluated; I have never said I am done.
- Have glass of wine.
- Hire a babysitter and take a break.
- Get your nails done.
- Get a massage.
Don’t give up your spirit or drive. Don’t believe when others say failure is allowed. Failure is not allowed, only stumbling is welcome. Stumbling makes us stronger. Stumbling makes us value our blessing and gifts. Stumbling makes us who we are.
Deployment was one of the worst and best ten months of my life. During deployment, I once went to bed after having just milk for dinner because that was all I could manage to do after I fed the cat. But BECAUSE of deployment I am stronger in so many ways. Yet here’s the thing– there were dark days.
My key was to never give up.
So thank you..
- Thank you to those who believed in me.
- Thank you to those who listened to me gripe and complain.
- Thank you to those who pushed me to try one more time.
- Thank you to those who solved my problems for that day.
- Thank you to those who helped me obtain my dreams.
Just remember, that’s not failure. That’s success!
Pick your team, your member, and your tribe. With those on your side you will succeed.0